September 14, 2007

I do not think of myself as a “survivor,” as a “refugee.” Surviving Kimkins implies luck. Chosing to leave Kimkins was proactive on my part, and makes me a refugee. Because I was active for such a short time, my involvement in Kimkins was not so much catastropic, as it was disillusioning. And the person I was most disillusioned with was myself.

Just like people who believe they can get something for nothing, I let myself believe that I could safely, speedily, and with no insult to my health, lose weight on low carb, starvation rations, while simultaneously maintainging optimum physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual fitness. The founder of Kimkins didn’t do that to me…the Women’s World article didn’t do that to me…I did that to me. I knew better.

So what suckered me in? Easy answer! The sense of community, of belonging, of encouragement–generously offered…the collective spirit of irreverence in the face of obesity, the ability to laugh with each other, commiserate with one another…the collective shaking of fists at the Demon Fat Gods, even as we sacrificed and made food offerings to them daily, of our calories, carbs, and fats, and, yes, ultimately, our health. It was never about the Kimkins diet, for was about the miracle of connecting with others like me–of not being the different one, the round (pun intended) peg in the square hole…it was the magic of finally being seen.

As someone else here wrote, finding our kindred spirits…and note, I did not write co-enablers…was the “silver lining” in the Kimkins WOL. There was an article in Oprah, several months ago, about the much higher succes rate dieters who blogged had, versus those dieters who were isolated, and did not receive support and encouragement. I don’t need to see the research data; I have experienced that phenomena up close and personal, during my two months with the Fabulous 50s Kimkin’s forum.

As for what is to be done with our anger and sense of having been duped, and played for fools, for myself, the most healthy thing I can do is to let it all go, for impotent anger, and hostility only destroys me from the inside out, and diverts my energy from positive, to negative. Yes, Kimmer made money off of us, she lied, she made those of us preaching the Kimmer gospel look like a bunch of false apostles. But we were not the Judases in this affair, she was. I am trying to see the woman underneath the facade, to forgive her, to forgive myself…to keep her in my prayers for the wounded and ill, because that is what humans do when someone is in need. A Pollyanna? Yes, I am…but practical, too, and strong, and committed, and rededicated to healthy, lo carb living.

from low carb discussion, “Kimkins Survivors”


2 Responses to “Kimasutra”

  1. Watcher said

    I recognize how disgusted you are with yourself, but your attitude is refreshing. Forgive, and maybe remember a little; so you learn from this experience. But I also understand the fury of those whose health has been compromised, sometimes severely. This can’t be over till everyone entering Kimmer’s orbit can see the scarlet letter (S for Scammer) on her forehead. Those people who join her then don’t deserve any more time or sympathy.

  2. 2big4mysize said

    Sorry you were a victim of Kimmer and her scam

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