anani

August 30, 2007

Since July I have been watching everything unfold, thru the other forum and all of the anti-kimkins blogs etc. Mostly I have been lurking and just watching things unfold. But recently I decided that I needed to do something tangible to help stop this insanity. And speak out honestly about my kimkins experience.

I am still struggling with the unhealthy attitude and fear I developed towards food, I have had no more “bathroom” episodes but I still have to fight the urge occasionally. I still fear eating more calories and have to work on that on a daily basis. It’s all good though. I am choosing to turn this into a positive experience. And take what I have learned and put it to good use. I may have less hair than I did but I am a better and stronger person. I have learned some valuable lessons and have met some truly remarkable people along the way.10 years ago at the age of 40 I became a SEVERE bulimic. (it’s not just a young person’s disease) I binged and purged no less than 10 times a day. I didn’t know if I was binging to purge or purging to binge. I was addicted to both. It became a life or death issue and I won’t bore you with the looong details of how I overcame it, but overcome it I did. It took time, and it had become so much a part of my past, that I hardly remembered it. That is…until Kimkins. Before starting kimkins I had developed a very healthy attitude about food and had started to reclaim my life and health through my own version of low carb (similar to South Beach) I had lost 90 pounds and had gone from being a very brittle insulin dependent diabetic to being able to go off all meds. But I admit I was getting a bit frustrated with the slow loss and through a series of events found the kimkins site and to my shame was seduced by the promise of fast weight loss…yada yada…you know the story.

Like I mentioned, I never followed the plan as strictly as most, but I did drop my calories far too low. 900-1000. But I still ate 40-50 grams of fat a day. Far more than most members. I lost 26 pounds in the first month and was elated. Despite the severe dizzy spells I was beginning to experience. And yes…enormous hair loss. But something else happened that was far more insidious…I became terrified of food. I was sooo depressed one night ….because I had cheated..on 6 large strawberries! (good Lord) This pattern continued and increased in it’s severity. To the point where if I felt I had eaten too much or the wrong things…I started wanting to run to the bathroom and get rid of it. I had not even come close to having this urge for over 8 years and never DREAMED I could consider it again. I am deeply ashamed to admit that I gave into that urge several times. I was starting to feel really good (emotionally) the less I managed to eat in a day. I was being lured down that very dangerous path to the PBTP. If it hadn’t been for discovering the “other forum” and the valuable info there, who knows where I would be now. Most likely stuck fast in the “cult mentality” and continuing the damage to my health on less and less calories. While everyone patted me on my ever increasing “bony shoulders” I’m sorry, I know many were offended by the “cult” references that have surfaced over the last few weeks..but truly…what else can you call it…when an otherwise intelligent, educated, well read and informed woman can get seduced into doing something so stupid and destructive as this WOE. I am forever grateful to those who tirelessly worked to dig out the truth about this very clever charlatan.

I am still struggling with the unhealthy attitude and fear I developed towards food, I have had no more “bathroom” episodes but I still have to fight the urge occasionally. I still fear eating more calories and have to work on that on a daily basis. It’s all good though. I am choosing to turn this into a positive experience. And take what I have learned and put it to good use. I may have less hair than I did but I am a better and stronger person. I have learned some valuable lessons and have met some truly remarkable people along the way.

I need to state that I do take accountability for my bad choices…Kimmer didn’t hold a gun to my head, but if I had found info like this thread in advance of finding kimkins, I never would have gone down that path. So now I want to contribute what I can to this cause and hopefully open some eyes.

From Active Low Carber Forums “New Anti-Kimkins/Kimmer blogs emerging”

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5 Responses to “anani”

  1. April said

    I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate your honesty about purging so much, it is something that I used to deal with as well. I also understand the guilt associated with the Kimmers diet, I have a really hard time allowing myself over 600 calories since doing Kimmers bootcamp, my whole attitude has changed and I am weaker then I used to be as well, which is not good considering that I am a 31 year old mom of 4 kids.

  2. health said

    Thank you for sharing your troubles, April, to support another. You are a Survivor, too. Thank you.

  3. anani said

    April, Oh, I so completely understand. Even though my rational self knows better, I now have to fight the feelings of “failure” I feel every time I eat over 1000 calories a day. Keep up the fight and let your 4 beautiful children be your inspiration. Just think of the wonderful example you can set for them. And the pain and heartache you can save them from through the lessons you have learned from all of this. Turn this into a positive experience! The best and most valuable lessons in life come from the “School of Hard Knocks” Just pump the nutrition back into your body and you WILL get your energy back. Our bodies are amazingly forgiving.
    One beautiful KK member that VERY suddenly disappeared (terrifies me)from the place I spent most of my time in at KK had this in her siggy ..Old Japanese Proverb “Fall down 7 times..get up 8” For me it’s more like 108..(sigh) but I got up..even with the dizzy spells (grin) I’m just thankful that I was able to.
    (((Hugs)))

  4. 2big4mysize said

    Sorry you were a victim of Kimmer and her scam Kimkins.com

    Hope you are doing better now

    thank you for helping others not to be victims too.

  5. ohyeahbabe said

    I’m really sorry you were a victim of Kimmer’s fraud and the unsafe Kimkins diet, and that your health was damaged. I hope you are doing better now.

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